Posted by: brandi11 | August 17, 2008

Poor Crazy Lulu

It’s no secret that I find Lulu annoying and ever present so I find myself alternately enthralled and over the “Lulu goes crazy” storyline. I’m enthralled because the closer we get to “Lulu goes completely catatonic” makes me happy, and over it because everything continues to be all about Lulu (which is only slightly worse than everything being about Carly and only slightly better than everything being about Leyla).

Even if everything radiates from Lulu, I still have to hand it to the writers for crafting an umbrella story: Lulu and Johnny are on the run which creates problems for Sonny since Zacchara is putting pressure on him to find them, Nikolas and Claudia are teaming up, Lucky is worried and hot, Scott Baldwin shows up once a week to twirl his moustache, Alexis is a nervous wreck trying to precariously balance being a DA/Mother/Aunt, Jerry is creepy, and Maxie and Spinelli are almost cracking under the pressure. I have to say, as much as it pains me that a Lulu-centric storyline has taken over the show, it’s the catalyst for the return of Genie Francis and proves that an engaging umbrella storyline can be as effective as a disaster-related sweeps stunt.

I’ll admit that I was rolling my eyes during the “Lulu goes through the motions of her self-fullfilling prophesy of turning into her mother by sitting expressionless at the window” and anything involving Lourdes (the most annoying new character since Leyla and her pearls swept through the hospital) but Johnny risking it all to take Lulu to Shadybrook got me. Granted, I still have no idea what he sees in her and her quasi-militaristic wardrobe choices, but I bought the romance for the first time ever. Remember how everyone was telling Lulu that Johnny would ruin her life? Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that the reverse is true, yet, here’s Johnny trying to get Lulu the help she needs. He’s a much better person than her (or me) because I think leaving her by the side of the road would probably be the more viable alternative. When Scott Baldwin and his band of merry policemen rushed in and grabbed Johnny while the orderlies grabbed Lulu, I actually felt an emotion that wasn’t disgust for this couple, something I thought wasn’t possible.

Speaking of newfound adoration, I love Claudia and Nikolas and I’m not ashamed to admit it! I like how she calls him “Batman”, I love that he’s letting her in. When she jumped into the car at the end to find Johnny and Lulu, I cheered. Cheered, people! What’s wrong with me?

2 Comments

Posted in General Hospital

Posted by: brandi11 | August 16, 2008

Queen of the Night

So I took one for the team and watched three hours of Days of Our Lives today, or perhaps I should refer to it by its new name, Flashbacks of Our Lives, because that was a good 45 minutes right there.

I’ve always been slightly fascinated by the Marlena/Stefano non-romance. Part of me wishes that she would have developed legitimate, non-chemically related feelings for Steffie, just so we could see the Good Doctor develop a shade of greay. (I don’t count the demonic possession or serial killer storylines). I’d just really like to see everyone in Salem lose their shit over Marlena packing up the penthouse and moving to Tuscany to sip wine and listen to operas. I have a feeling that Stefano wouldn’t put up witht he gasping and moaning, either.

I have to say that Stefano shows suprising agility and ingenuity for just waking out of a coma-like paralyses. Then again, John was very virile after coming back from the dead, so there you go. I could have done without the laughing/hysteria gas but we got to see extended Tony and Anna, so it was worth it. I love Tony and Anna and am just happy to see them in a storyline that doesn’t involve interns and reality television.

In other news, Baby Joe is missing. Honestly, with the life that little boy has had so far, I’m suprised it’s taken so long for him to be kidnappeed. He’s just lucky Ava was off the meds and sipping Cristal with John because she would have taken that baby back to Port Charles with her. I get that Baby Joe was readily accessible, but shouldn’t Sami and EJ’s son have been the kidnapping victim? I mean, that would give Sami another reason to scream and cry hysterically, so I’m surprised they didn’t go that route.

Oh and what’s up with this film noir thing next week? Yeah, that’s really going to make me want to watch that instead of Track and Field.

3 Comments

Posted in Days of Our Lives

Posted by: brandi11 | August 12, 2008

See Claudia Run

Are we supposed to believe Claudia as a fun runner now?  Seriously, her “running” was the most WTF-sports related moment since Sam installed a punching bag and started kickboxing in Jason’s living room.  I loved the all black track outfit, although bright red tennis shoes would have been a nice touch.  Who knows? Maybe Claudia caught a case of Olympic Fever.  And why wouldn’t she?  She probably sits at home in her living room/crime scene, cell phone in hand (in case Johnny calls) just watching Michael Phelps walk on water swim his heart out.  Maybe tomorrow Patrick and Dr. Matt Hunter (I have to call him by his proper name, just like Nadine) will perform some synchronized springboard dives while Robin looks on proudly. 

There, I’ll admit it; I rush through watching my soaps so I can watch The Olympics.  While I enjoyed watching Alexis remember that she is an intelligent capable woman who is also a devoted aunt, I find myself much more interested in whether or not Kerry Walsh has found her missing wedding ring (she did). If I am going to watch someone mumble unintelligibly I would rather it be Bela Karolyi than Sonny Corinthos.  I’m way more interested in this French/Italian/Italian Swimmer Love Triangle than Sami/EJ/Lucas.  I’d rather be at the Water Cube than the Metro Court (although call me Bo Brady, because I wonder how Green it is). 

Back to soaps, any guesses on what Robin and Patrick will name their baby?  I’m disappointed that they won’t be able to name their child Michael Phelps.

3 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Days of Our Lives, General Hospital

Posted by: brandi11 | August 11, 2008

Oh Carly!

I love that Carly, in the midst of a marital crisis, and still fresh from committing her comatosa son to a long-term care facility, feels the need to act out by playing Alias with Russian gangsters. I’m really over her constant attempts to sacrifice herself for Jason. Um Carly, that was Sam’s job and look at how well that worked out for her.

I never thought I’d say this, but God bless Claudia. Sure, I still like to laugh at her tight jeans and boots ensembles, but I find it extremely humorous that she carries both a gun and lollipops in her purse. She’s Kojak for the new Millenium. I like how she calls Carly out how annoying and condescending she is and then chills out at Wyndemere. As much as I enjoy Nadine and think of her neurotic nature towards men as a shout out to myself, I really want Claudia and Nik to happen. I think that this coupling, even more so than a birthday cake-wielding, abdomen-glowing Logan will finally push Lulu into Shadybrook for good.

Speaking of Lulu, can she please go catatonic already? I’m really over the constant screaming and crying. It’s really hard to watch after spending 45 minutes watching Sami do the same thing on Days of Our Lives.

1 Comment

Posted in General Hospital

Posted by: brandi11 | August 10, 2008

A Reception to Remember

Here are my problems with the aborted Bope Wedding Reception:

  1. Daniel was there.  Why that suprises me since he’s now attached to Chelsea like a lichen, however, I find it unnerving that Daniel is once again there for Brady family drama.  Besides being sixty five years young, Daniel is like some Black Angel of Doom hovering over the Kirakis/Roberts clan waiting for one of them to wind up back at Salem University Hospital. 
  2. Chelsea’s hair-I’m sorry, I still can’t get past the stripes. 
  3. Mickey-Are you like me and constantly forget who he is?  He’s on like five times a quarter and everytime I sit there and think “and who is this again?  One of Kate’s random ex-hookups?”  If he is going to continue to pop up randomly, can we at least get a shot of the law office?  It makes more sense than EJ just randomly conducting attorney/client meetings at the Brady Pub.
  4. I love how everyone is so shocked that Bo could be hiding evidence.  Um, remember when certain people (HOPE) thought that Bo destroyed evidence to help Chelsea when she ran over Zack?What I enjoyed:

Now it wasn’t all negative:

    Hope’s dress is still stunning and Bo looks twenty years younger than Daniel without facial hair. I also would like to throw out some style points to Marlena. For once, she decided to forgo the “Belle Watling meets Maid of Honor” ruffled ensembles she usually sports to Salem’s premier events. I quite enjoyed her pencil skirt and thought it held nicely while she was wrestling with her assailant and then writhing around on the floor. Oh Doc, don’t ever change!As long as I’ve giving out props, I should point out that I’m glad that Victor modeled his backyard on Mac Cory’s. Seriously, did that not look like the Cory Mansion or what? All it was missing was the pool that Matthew would swim laps in. I enjoyed all the plotting and lemonade drinking although I found Morgan’s dress quite distressing. Is that what a Southern Belle wears to visit her Beau’s family home? Where was her parasol?

9 Comments

Posted in Days of Our Lives

Posted by: brandi11 | August 7, 2008

Bo and Hope Get Married Again

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Bo and Hope, but how many weddings have there been?  I imagine a conversation like this surely occured six weeks ago:

Random Writer #1: Ratings are down!

Random Writer #2: I know let’s have Hope and Bo marry…again.

Random Writer #3: We’ll cobble together a clip package and call it a day.

Random Writer #4: Don’t forget the ubiquitous mention of Zack and the disdainful pan towards Chelsea.

Random Writer #3: And don’t forget to force John Aniston to show up yet give him nothing to do! 

NBC Exectutive: That way we’ll still look good in Jen Aniston’s eyes and she’ll give a tearful, Brangelina Twin reaction interview to Matt Lauer.

Random Writer #2: Since it’s Thursday, we’ll make sure that Marlena gasps and moans as much as possible.

Random Writer #1: Wait, shouldn’t Steve and Kayla be renewing their vows?

Random Writer #2: Of course not!  They just got out of a crazy stalker plot and are now saddled with an unseen preemie.

Random Writer #3: Besides Stefano is back in town!

Random Writer #4: Which is why we can’t have John committ to killing him.  John’s not a bad robot, just a misunderstood one.

Honestly, what was that?  Sure it was sweet with all the flashbacks, but haven’t we seen this…oh I don’t know…five times before?  I feel like they’re neck and neck with Jarlena with wedding ceremonies.  Maybe they get married so many times because they want all their children to bear witness.  Who knows? 

I think it was a nice touch that Steve and Kayla got to speak since they were there for a lot of early Bope adventures, although it would have been nice for Steve to mention holding them both at knife point (in scuba gear no less) but I’ll take that beautiful clip of S&K sending them off into the sunset.  I remember watching that when I was little and it was such a passing of the torch moment. 

Speaking of things I don’t get, the Stefano thing is out of control.  That’s really a no-brainer since any plot involving Stefano is ten brands of crazy, but I feel like Victor is always sacrificed when SD comes riding back into town.  I’d much rather watch Victor shake people down than Stefano terrorize Marlena again.  The one bright side is that an awake Stefano enables the writers to give Tony something to do, besides tanning obviously.  Question: who is tanner: Tony Dimera or Blayne from Project Runway? Honestly, it’s a toss up.  I will point out that I was annoyed with Blayne at first but now I love him.  I don’t know if it’s because we share an affinity for tanning or the fact that he’s unabashedly proud of not liking The Beatles and peppers his speech with “Holla at ya boy!” but I’m hoping he wins.

3 Comments

Posted in Days of Our Lives, Nostalgia

Posted by: brandi11 | August 3, 2008

The Twilight of my writing career

I’ve never read Harry Potter but I read enough Wikipedia articles that I can bluff my way in and out of a short coversation.  Why would I even bother, you may ask? Because it’s all part of my seemingly obtainable goal of knowing a little bit about everything, which would invariably bring me one step closer to world domination.  Thus, when I heard all the buzz about The Twilight novels I read everything on Entertainment Weekly and poured over Wikipedia.  The fourth book in the series, Breaking Dawn, was realeased at Midnight on August 2nd and, let’s be honest, I’m not sure if that was the most anticipated arrival of this weekend or if it was just slightly edged out by the Brangelina Twin photos.  My vote: after showing up at Borders this morning and reading Breaking Dawn’s epilogue…after not reading a single one of the three preceding books, mind you…I’m giving my backing to the Twin Photos.

Later, I went online to read actual fan reviews.  Apparently, if the boards at Amazon.com are any indication, there a lot of unhappy readers out there.  I’m not going to spoil anything but I will say that I’ve been turned off ever reading the books.  Sure, I’ll probably see the movie because vampires are sexy, but I’ll continue reading Bret Easton Ellis by the pool, thank you very much.  Anyway, all the negative fan reviews gave me a great idea: I’m going to write a series of young adult novels about sexy vampires and the ingenues that love them, but I’m going to use Breaking Dawn as a template for what not to do.  I mean, I kind of already do that with my General Hospital posts.  Just find/replace “vampire” with “mobster” and there you go.  I always got a Lestat/Louis vibe from Sonny and Jason, Lulu obviously equals Claudia, throw in the Zaccharas as those Crazy Eurotrash vamps and you have Interview with the Vampire for the Soap set.

Back to my young adult novels: I’m thinking they should be set in Florida and the vampires are able to disguise their real identies by constantly getting spray tans.  Come on, that’s genius!  The song “Cry Little Sister” from The Lost Boys movie will figure prominently, since a) that song is awesome and b) is to teen vampire movies as ”How Soon is Now” is to teen witches.  Throw in some twins a la Sweet Valley High and maybe a younger sister that runs a baby-sitting club or an English exchange student that happens to come from a long line of wizards and I’m looking at a hefty advance and a Newberry Award.

3 Comments

Posted in General Hospital, Genius Ideas, True Confessions

Posted by: brandi11 | August 2, 2008

Jason, Jason, Jason

If Jason doesn’t like being in the mob, can’t he just get out too? Sonny did. Well sort of. For God’s sake, if I were Jason Morgan, I would just be tired of spending every other day in the interrogation room at the Port Charles Police Department. I’m surprised they haven’t renamed it in his honor yet. Surely, Jason has money in offshore accounts, can’t he and Elizabeth and the boys just go and run away somewhere (please?). Actually, he wouldn’t even need to do that; Sonny is clearly hiding in plain sight and dating a high profile fashion editor while negotiating a deal with a Russian gangster. If Johnny Zacchara can successfully elude everyone but a teenage girl, I think Jason can get out too.

3 Comments

Posted in General Hospital

Posted by: brandi11 | August 1, 2008

What the hell?

Let me set up the scene: I’m not feeling well, I didn’t have the best week at work, my computer issues are all over the map and the only prescription is bad Reality TV.  First up: Criss Angel: Mindfreak.

I’ve said it before, but I enjoy watching Mindfreak.  Now this isn’t something I tell everyone in real life, just the international audience that reads this blog.  Here’s the thing: I enjoy the show, however, I also can find humor in it and this latest episode, a “special live” broadcast wherein Criss “narrowly” escaped from an imploding hotel, brought it in spades.

We lay our scene in Clearwater, Florida, which gave me pause, because I expected some Scientology overtones (sorry, Clearwater, but you know how it is). Thankfully, Criss has shaved off the bizarre, Grizzly Adams beard that put him neck in neck with Eric Neis in the “Reality Star of a Certain Age trying to front as a roadie for Willie Nelson” Sweepstakes and looks decades younger. I also noticed that he updated the opening credits, a decision I’m not sure I’m fond of.

Since this is a “Very Special Episode” Tim Vincent took time from his busy Access Hollywood hosting duties to come down and emcee. I wonder if A&E thought that hiring
someone with a British accent would give this special a hint of legitimacy…ha! Honestly, between all the women, cars, and mentions of his all new show at The Luxor, this had to be the most shameless self-promotion I’ve seen in a long time…until I watched Kathy Griffin cavort around with Adnan Ghalib (scroll down).

Now, I enjoy Criss when’s he doing slight of hand or that freaky “mentalism” stuff he does so well, therefore I just cannot get into the wacky “demonstrations”. Honestly, despite all their pleas to the camera, do you honestly think the top guys from either The Luxor or Cirque would allow Criss to risk injury before his new show goes live? I have to imagine that the contract between Criss and Company is as thick as the “M” Volume of the Encyclopedia Brittanica. Like always, the “escape” goes awry and just when everyone thinks all hope is lost (or not…because instead of acting concerned, the crowd seemed to cheer at the implosion…clearly they had no idea what was going on) Criss emerges in his trademark “I’ve been to Hell and back” middle-distance stare, covered in debris. Why is this man not in movies? Honestly, I’m picturing a buddy comedy with The Rock and Seann William Scott.

I chased that morsel with My Life on the D-List. I still love this show, although I am a little over Team Griffin. Small doses, Bravo, small doses. Also, do the episodes seem more frantic this season? They’re in LA, they’re in NY, they’re in Mexico, there’s Woz, there’s Maggie, there’s Anderson Cooper. I much preferred it when it was just Kathy trying to peddle her DVDs in the Virgin Megastore to 15 customers, two of which were related to her. Anyway, the trend of random celebrity cameos continued with an appearance by Suze Orman. While some might find her abrasive, I cheered when she called Jessica (or “Jennifer”) out for leasing a car, as let’s be honest, I had the same conversation with two people last month. Just like Suze, however, my advice fell on deaf ears, which isn’t that odd, since unlike Suze, I don’t have five homes and am currently staying in because I dropped a lot of money in LA (a $7.50 glass of grapefruit juice, people) and I’m sick.

Now for the socially relevant part: Could Adnan Ghalib please figure into more shows on Bravo? I must point out that I’m kidding because it would be just my luck that Tim Gunn will be introducing him to the Designers on Project Runway next week. I’ll admit to enjoying his accent, but I could not deal with how he seemed embarrassed by Kathy. This coming from someone who willingly dated another person who drove around Sunset Boulevard to use the Right Aid bathroom over and over again. Plus, by the time this episode aired, Adnan is a not-so-fondly distant memory. I only even semi-liked him because he appeared to give Sam Lufti a hard time, which is aces in my book. Plus, you know that secretly Adnan craved all the attention too. I bet he’s watched this episode like five times now.

4 Comments

Posted in Illusions, Los Angeles, Reality Shows

Posted by: brandi11 | July 27, 2008

She always depends on the kindness of strangers

When did Morgan Hollingsworth become a character that just waltzes into various homes firing on all cylinders?  Has she inherited the Shawn “It’s my hot body, I do what I want” Brady role?  Because by my estimation, all that was missing on Friday’s episode was a motorcycle crashing through John’s living room and an armful of male leather bracelets. 

Remember Morgan as she first appeared on this show?  She was straight out of a Sweet Valley University book: the sorority president with the over-the-top Southern accent and Elle Woods wardrobe.  Then for reasons still unknown to me, she befriended Chelsea and Stephanie with their Uncle-loving ways, and she became a full-fledged secondary character.  Now she’s neck and neck with Caroline as they threaten to eat their way through the show.  (What is with characters with the name of Morgan totally taking over soaps?)

I understand Morgan is upset that her father is presumably dead.  I, too, was sad to see Linden Ashby go, but if Morgan had any sense at all, she would realize that he faked his death and is taking up residence on that same island that Amanda and Dr. Peter Burns fled to in the finale of Melrose Place. 

Here are two things I want to call out about Morgan:

1) What is with all prissily traipsing into the Dimera Mansion?  I know she was there to ostensibly accuse John of murdering her father (again) but who is she? Dr. Marlena Evans?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these rich people have to hire better doormen.  Or take it one step further and live in a gated community.  I loved that she was yelling at John while he was wearing a robe.  The girl doesn’t even have enough decency to accuse him of murder when he’s fully dressed.  I think even the police give you that much credit.  Sidenote: if you were Morgan and you believed your father to be dead at the bottom of a lake, would you get up, put on your best father-murdering sundress, accessorize with multiple earrings and then curl your hair like you’re a Victoria’s Secret model?  No?  Okay then.  See, I would find Morgan much more believable if she’d shown up in the college coed’s wardrobe of PINK sweat pants and sorority mixer T-shirt.  Plus her hair would be in a messy ponytail.  Negative points for the Emmy-Nominated Hair Team.

2) Remember a few months back when Morgan actually helped cover up a murder? Yeah, I thought so.  It’s kind of hard to be self-righteous about someone covering up a murder when you, yourself, did the same thing.  Granted, I know that a murder investigation would have interfered with Fall Finals and the sorority Christmas party, but Ford Decker’s mother and father wanted to know where their son was…just like you want to know about your Daddy.

2 Comments

Posted in Days of Our Lives

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